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The Real History of Noah's Ark, Part-2
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This is part-2 of a short story. Read part-1 here!
The Real History of Noah's Ark
Part-2
Noah approached the man's door cautiously. He checked himself up and down to make certain he couldn’t be mistaken for a friend or family member, then knocked. It took only a moment for the prodigious rapist with the divinely ordained camel to appear.
“Noah!” said the guy with the camel, his face lit up. “You never visit me. How wonderful it is to see you!”
“Well, y'know," said Noah. "I’ve been swamped with this ark thing,."
“I noticed you’ve been working on that for… quite a while now, huh?” said the guy.
“I mean, it hasn't been that long,” said Noah.
“If you say so, Noah. Please, come in" The man stepped aside and motioned for him to enter.
Noah took a deep breath. “Listen,” he said. “I’m a pretty direct person, so I’m just going to be direct as I can be here.” The man looked curious, if not a bit insulted that Noah refused to join him inside. “You may have heard," Noah continued, "that I’ve been commanded by god to save two of every species.”
“Heard? I can practically smell them from here!” said the man.
“The point is this...," continued Noah. "I also need to save a camel.” Noah had been trying to avoid eye contact, but now looked directly at the man, who was staring back at him. He understood exactly where this was going.
“It shouldn't be too difficult to find a camel around here. Should it, Noah?”
“No, it shouldn’t. But, I can't just save any camel.”
A few moments of tense quiet passed. It felt to Noah as if the entire natural world was eavesdropping on their conversation. “Are you going to make me say it?” asked Noah.
The man arched his eyebrows and crossed his arms.
“I’ll pay you," said Noah. "Whatever you want, it's yours. Can I please just have your camel?"
"How many years have we known one another?” asked the man.
Noah shrugged. “I don’t know. A hundred or two.”
“Try several hundred. And in all that time did I ever do anything to offend you?”
Noah thought of the horrible crimes against humanity this man had committed. The madness and darkness he had wrought upon the world. The generations whom, had god let them live, would have more likely preferred death than to grapple with the consequences of this man's actions.
“Me personally? No, not really,” said Noah.
"Now you come here, to my home, and offer to pay me for my beloved camel? Noah! If you wanted my camel I would've given you my camel. All you had to do was ask!”
Noah wasn't sure what to say. The man looked down to the ground and shifted the dust beneath his leather sandals.
“It isn’t easy for me to make friends, you know," said the man. “Why don’t you want to be my friend?”
“Honestly?" said Noah. "I’m a bit afraid you’ll rape me."
“I hear that, though," said the man. "What if," he went on, "you were the kind of friend that I only raped once in a while?”
Noah cleared his throat.
"Fine. The kind of friend that I never rape," said the man.
Noah looked up to the sky and saw thick clouds forming above, the end of a silent process which would soon culminate with the end of the world as they both knew it. Noah wondered how the man who stood before him was formed; what sort of pain came together to make him do the things he did.
"Friends," said Noah as he extended his hand towards the man.
“Friends,” said the man.
The two men shook hands– a gesture signifying agreement which would not be widely adopted in the region for at least a thousand more years, and a choice these men made that remains entirely inexplicable to this day.
“So," Noah said. "Can I have your camel... Friend?”
“That camel died 15-years ago.”
“Oh fuck you.”
“Fuck you first, Noah. And if you ever come to my house again, I’ll rape you like you're a real friend!”
The man slammed the door shut.
PART-3 COMING NEXT WEEK! Read part-1 here.
▶️ Watch till the end. How many People's Courts shows are there now?
📺 Charlamagne tha God on Ye. Probably my favorite conversation so far on the Ye saga. From someone who actually knows Kanye, some prescient points. He doesn't think Kanye will be with us much longer...
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