We're Taking Our Bagels With Us, Zohran!

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In Today's Email ✍🏻 Serious Thought | 📺 Zohran Content

When We Leave, We're Taking Our Bagels With Us 🥯

If you’re anything like me, you’ve been glued to your phone and laptop since last Thursday evening when you discovered that the socialist Muslim dude running for New York City mayor had an actual chance to win. If you’re anything like me, you were relieved to learn that it was only a primary, so things weren’t that serious. And, if you’re anything like me, it became increasingly concerning as the week wore on to learn that it actually is serious and that all Zionists are being preemptively asked to self-identify by wearing a yellow hostage pin.

I’m kidding, of course, about the pin. But there’s nothing funny about a young person impacting politics. It’s a dangerous precedent, and as both a Jew and a New Yorker— the type that was raised, and continues to live, outside of New York City— I find it quite concerning. There’s no place in a healthy democracy for a generation raised on zero interest rates and the later seasons of The Simpsons. Think about that. The average voter in this election doesn’t know The Simpsons is funny. Consider what else they might not know.

The election, however, was not decided only by 20-something’s who find socialism fun and European. It was also decided by dumb older people who will wake up two years henceforth wondering why Gaza was such a crucial local issue for them.

As I write this, I think of all the New Yorkers, many of them Jewish, who feel inspired and hopeful right now. I understand that the new class president’s views on Israel are inconsequential to running the City, especially as it relates to making living more affordable for more people. I, too, would like someone to do that. But as someone who works in real estate (in addition to writing this newsletter), I can tell you firsthand that rent freezes and progressive rental laws have only forced prices upwords and made it less affordable to live in Manhattan.

That I could reach such vastly different conclusions than others in my cultural milieu have about Mamdani’s capacity to accomplish any of his goals, adds to an immeasurable frustration with my inability to articulate why this guy is problematic for me, an inability to communicate that most Millenial Jews do not in fact feel represented by Ezra Klein’s opinions on Israel, and a deepening conviction that my isolation from broader culture is growing.

My most vivd takeaway from watching the Zohran victory party against the backdrop of the 12-Day War was how profoundly divorced from reality Americans appear to me. Privileged with safety, the idealistic position of “never do anything militarily” or “why not give this 33-year old a shot?” seems to represent a life spent sheltered from consequence. I can hear how condescending that sounds, but I haven’t heard any convincing arguments against it. If things go South, these voters will follow– likely to New Jersey!– where they’ll lament how the “Jews for Mamdani” affinity group normalized him in a conspiracy to get a socialist elected and bankrupt the city.

And finally, a note about the controversial rhetoric now coming from the Right in response to this historic win.

I refuse to condemn the language of “Deport Mamdani,” because once we do that, we are squarely in the position of policing speech– something President Trump himself is guilty of. I’m aware that some people use the term “deport” to imply the expelling of a foreigner, typically on the grounds of illegal status or for having committed a crime. Obviously, that’s not how it’s being used here. To imply otherwise is not only hurtful, but a welcome invitation to attract a coalition of people who agree with the sentiment.

Here are a couple of Zohran takes I found interesting and helpful, in order of the amount of hair the podcast host has.

James Carville’s pronunciation of “Intifada” alone is worth the watch. Tracking the Democratic establishment lining up to support him is going to be fascinating. I wonder if/when Obama reaches out?

Start at 20:24 for the Mamdani stuff. Scott Galloway was sober and measured here. Wondering if he’s hedging his bets against being the guy in the “young people” space who isn’t excited about Zohran.

Start at 31:20 for the Israel stuff. This sounds like the way political insiders talk after the podcast cameras are turned off and they give their real opinion.

🙏🏼 Please do not watch this next one. I wish I hadn’t. I do not want to include it in this newsletter, but I no longer have a choice. This reel is a virus and I am now its host, compelling me from within to spread it to you.

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Michael Weber is a writer who recently launched a campaign for the open seat on the New York State Assembly. If you received this email, you signed up for his newsletter at some point. If you'd like to unsubscribe, you must first find somebody else to replace you. Share a link to subscribe!