There’s More Than One Zach Braff, Assh*le, part-II

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In Today's Email ✍🏻 Story | 🎙️ Stavros | 🎥 Heat

There’s More Than One Zach Braff, Assh*le, part-II

Hi! I'm Zach Braff. No, not that Zach Braff. I'm the guy who studied cheesemaking in Mozarell after finishing high school, but got a call midway through that he’d inherited a massive crematorium. The Zach Braff you're thinking of called it quits with Florence Pugh after she interrupted him once. Now he lives alone in a house he bought for tax purposes. I'm the Zach Braff who didn't think this country was ready for a Black president, and knows for sure that pizza Napoletana can really only be cooked in pizza ovens. The Zach Braff you're thinking of starred in the musical adaptation of a Woody Allen movie and finds it difficult to find the right time to share that it was the most fulfilling experience of his life. I'm the Zach Braff who fell in love with a woman half his age when he was in his early 30s. The Zach Braff you're thinking of was heavily invested in FTX and sold his shares early by accident.

People ask me all the time what it's like to share a name with a three-time Golden Globe winner, and I always just respond, "Who? The truth is, I know who he is. I started watching Scrubs reruns without knowing the star’s name– like I watch all my reruns. My brothers and I would watch when we visited Ma, because really there wasn't much else to do with her at that point.

All I know is what it's like to prepare a traditional Italian dish for one. It's actually more complicated than making a larger meal. Last year, I ate Thanksgiving dinner in my car. I was interrupted several times by a gentleman who knocked on my window and offered me pills. But I never touch that stuff. Guys like me have to be careful. The Zach Braff you're thinking of wouldn't know a thing about that.

🎙️ If you don’t know Stavros yet, check out this short. He’s an up-and-comer who ain’t afraid to show off his body. (Long clip below. He’s the fatter of the two).

🎥 Heat is one of those movies that makes you think it’s the only good movie ever made. Been rewatching on Netflix this week in 20-minute increments, like I watch all my movies these days. (Netflix, long)

❣️MEMORIAL DAY BONUS: This podcast episode with Tim, Tom, and Christina is just so, so, important.

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