Instructions From a Wedding Photographer to the Groom's Older Brother

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Instructions From a Wedding Photographer to the Groom's Older Brother

Okay, big brother? I want you to put your hands on the groom’s cufflink like you're helping him get dressed. I know, it's silly, but just pretend... alright? Turn towards me? Now the same for his bowtie. Just like that. Just like that.

Okay, big brother? I want you to cradle the groom like he's a paraplegic and you're taking him out of the pool. Just like that. Now lay him on the floor like you're helping him get dressed, and make it look like you've just slipped his tux pants over his useless wet legs. Perfect. Just like that.

Okay, big brother? I want you to hug the groom. Real tight. Tighter? Perfect. Now hug him like he went off his meds and you found him in an altercation with a cashier at a K-Mart.  Whisper something soothing into his ear. Love it. Just like that.

Okay, big brother? The judge just ruled the groom's case a mistrial. I want you to shake his hand like you're happy for him. Just like that. Now, shake his hand again, but this time I want you to imply with your grip that you know he did it. Beautiful. None of us can escape justice. Just like that.

Okay, big brother? Look at the banking app on your phone like you've just transferred a large sum of money to the groom. Yup, perfect. Now, look at the groom like you know this won't be the last time, either. Just like that. Because he might just be a wedding photographer now, but he has dreams, too. Y'know? Like, this isn't all he does. And although what began as something that supported his dreams has evolved into a distraction, he's trying his best. And you know that. Because you're his brother. Turn to me? Just like that.

Now, where are my groomsmen?! Let's get you guys giving the groom the finger.

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