Context Is Everywhere #17

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Nobel Prize In Metaphysics

With so many groundbreaking discoveries being made every day in the science of timetravel, it has never been more difficult to isolate just one for acclaim. The achievements of certain men, however, have no equal in difficulty or import. That is why I am pleased to announce that this year's recipient for the Alfred P. Nobel Prize in Metaphysics will be awarded to Dr. Johan Burke, for his work in explaining the plot of the 1993 American comedy film "Weekend at Bernie's 2" to a 12th-century peasant.

After making contact with his subject, Dr. Burke spent several days managing the subject's stupor at having found the compass app on the doctor's mobile phone. After expending considerable effort to convince the subject he neither a king nor a god, Dr. Burke began explaining the concept of fiction. After many months, he was able to move on to explaining what a weekend is, and then, finally, film. By the time Dr. Burke arrived at the idea of a sequel, the funding for his project had run out. Nevertheless, he persisted to confront the difficult questions at hand.

Why did those two rascals carry a dead man's body around for an entire weekend in the first place? And, having done it once successfully, why on Earth would they do it again? And even if they would, how could this new attempt necessitate an entirely new movie? The peasant spent many years trying to understand why this wouldn't be considered redundant.

After concluding the Burke Test, where the subject satisfactorily summarized the plot and posted a review online, Dr. Burke returned to our time to share the results. (Having fallen in love with the subject's daughter, Dr. Burke brought her along as well, and went on to publish a series of lectures on future-induced-madness in 12th-century peasant women).

It is hard to overstate the effect Dr. Burke's work has had on how to effectively communicate with human beings from an entirely different era. If we have any hope of one day safely traveling through time, not only for recreation, but to transmit our hard-earned lessons on how preserve the ideals of a free society like our descendants have done for us, then we must be careful to not only celebrate Dr. Burke's work, but to practice it as well. It is our hope that conveying this prize on Dr. Burke will help us to remember not only that the human spirit connects us more deeply than any genetic code can, but alos if you can't explain the plot to a 12th-century peasant, maybe just don't do the sequel.

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